Using Fear to Achieve Your Dreams

Think about your role models. 

Perhaps they are friends, perhaps they are family, and perhaps they are someone that you have never met. 

That’s not important. 

Think about whether they are fearless. 

Many of the people we idolize seem like nothing could ever scare or phase them.

But is this really true? 

Are the most successful people actually fearless, or are they just using their fear more wisely than you or I? If you take the time to reflect on it, the second option is usually true. 

Those of us who find success are often the ones who find a way to channel our fears into constructive motivation. This is a tough skill, and one that we want to help you unlock. 

There are five steps that you should take to harness your fear and use it as a motivator. These steps are:

  1. Reflecting on previous frightening experiences
  2. Reflecting on fear of failure
  3. Reframing failure
  4. Telling people what you created
  5. Understanding consequences

In this article, we’ll dig into each of these five steps individually and show you how you can use them to harness fear and achieve your goals.

Reflecting On Previous Frightening Experiences

Think about the last time you did something that terrified you. How did you feel right before you took action? This is a great question to reflect on as you work toward overcoming fear. 

When you reflect on the way you felt in a moment of fear, you can take those remembered feelings and figure out how to replicate them when you need motivation. 

Reflections On Past Fear

Write these two questions down: 

  1. Last time you did something scary, what were you thinking right before you took action? 
  2. And how can you use those things that you were thinking to allow you to take action faster in the future? 

Use these questions to guide your reflection on fear. 

This episode is short and sweet so that you can really take some time to reflect on your past fear. 

Find a quiet place to write and work on these prompts for a while, creating a plan for the next time you need to take action.

Reflecting On Fear Of Failure

When you ask people about their greatest fears, fear of failure almost always tops the list. 

Is this true for you? 

Would you say that fear of failure is one of the biggest fears that governs your life? 

If so, this reflection is for you. 

Think about the scenario that frightens you the most. 

Are you more afraid of failing at something that nobody knows about, or are you more afraid of what people will think when you fail at something that you have told them you are going to try? 

Most people are much more afraid of the second scenario.

They are more afraid of what people will think of them if they fail than they are of actual failure.

Understanding The Root Of Your Fear

“If what you are really afraid of is how other people will see you, then you need to focus on overcoming your fear of judgement, not your fear of failure. If you accurately pinpoint what you are afraid of, you will be able to tackle that fear head-on.”

Reframing Failure

Take some time to reflect on what it would mean to you to fail. Is failure not completing a task? Or is it not being recognized for your efforts.

Amber explains in this episode that she has started thinking about failure as a failure to grow. 

She suggests that whenever you wonder if you are doing the right thing, think about whether that thing will help you grow. 

The greatest failure is if you look back at yourself a year from now and notice that you haven’t changed. 

By reframing failure as a failure to change, you can harness the fear of failure in a positive way. 

Now, your fear of failure will push you towards action, rather than passivity. 

Harnessing Fear Of Failure

When we think about failure as lack of change, we can start to reframe our decisions to help us take action quickly. 

Now what exactly would that look like? When we come upon a decision that really scares us, we should think: will taking this action help me change and grow as a person?

If your metric of success is growth, then you will not be so afraid of taking action.

Telling People What You Created

Let’s return to the idea of fear of judgement from others. For so many of us, this is the root of our fear of failure. 

At first glance, it might seem like the right solution to this fear would be keeping our attempts secret until we complete our projects. Then, we don’t have to worry about other people witnessing our failure, because we know that they will never know if we fail.

While that may work to keep you embarrassment-free, it will not help you grow. We need support from our communities to do the truly remarkable things we need to do and to grow properly.

Our communities can help us with projects, and once the projects are done, they can help us get our ideas or products to the right audience. 

Therefore, find ways to share your projects and ideas, and let go of the fear that people will care if you fail.

Other People Care Less Than We Think

“Remember, we are all thinking more about ourselves than we are thinking about anyone else. Therefore, don’t worry so much about what other people will think about your failures.”

Understanding Consequences

When you think about your fears, it can be very useful to reflect on consequences. Often, we believe that there will be certain consequences to our actions, but these consequences are sometimes far from the truth.

You will need to be able to sort the real consequences from the ones that only exist in our imaginations.

That being said, imaginary consequences are not always bad. 

Sometimes, we need to impose consequences on ourselves to motivate us. It is simply important that we do not take these self-imposed consequences too seriously.

Finding The Truth In Consequences

“I have 100 problems, and 99 of them are completely made up in my head.”

Putting It All Together

When you take these five pieces of advice and use them in combination with each other, you can begin to use healthy fear to motivate you. If you can harness fear, you can step into action quicker, without the fear of failure.

Ready To Design Your Life For Success?

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