Every once in a while, we all take a moment to consider our lives and think about whether we are living the life we want. Often, these moments of reflection seem to happen when you are trying to sleep.
You find yourself staring at the ceiling and thinking about the life that you imagined yourself living and comparing it to the life you have now. Sometimes, these moments of reflection can be constructive, steering us toward a better life, but often they aren’t and they simply leave us feeling defeated.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. If you can follow a few steps in your reflection, you can harness that reflective energy and find ways to channel that reflection into action.
In episode #207 of the More Than Corporate podcast, host Amber Fuhriman gives us five steps we can take to turn our reflection into action.
- Reflect on your “point A” and “point B”
- Recognize the power of choice
- Think about the choices that brought you the things you like
- Think about the choices that brought you the things you don’t like
- Use your “yes” wisely
If you can move through all of these steps, you will find that your reflection can be more than just berating yourself.
Reflect On Your “Point A” And “Point B”
This is the easiest step for most of us. We love to fantasize about the success that we could find or the people that we could become if one little thing were different. The difficult part is getting specific about these fantasies.
For example, if you fantasize about becoming a firefighter, are you interested in firefighting or are you more interested in the idea of helping people. If it is the latter, then maybe you can think more specifically about the ways you can make your current job fit into this desire.
Specific desires are easy to work with and can lead to real change, whereas general fantasies about your future can be intimidating. Once you have located your “Point B,” it’s time for you to figure out how to get there.
Accomplishment And Getting To Point B
“Accomplishment can be addictive. If we complete one thing, we can want to complete another, just to feel that positive feeling again. But this can hurt us by pulling us away from our goals.”
Recognize The Power Of Choice
You see, we get from point A to point B through a series of choices. We can think of these choices like the doors on a game show, except with the doors of your choices in life, all they open to are more choices.
Put another way, every single moment in our lives brought us to this moment and this place in our lives. And eventually, this moment will bring us to the next moment.
These strings of choices that bring us to where we are is important to recognize, consider, and analyze if we want to move somewhere else in our lives.
What Makes You Say Yes
“Think about the things that are making you say ‘yes.’ Are you saying yes because ‘yes’ has become a shiny object for you? Are you saying ‘yes’ because you don’t want to miss out? If you are, reconsider these motivations.
Think About The Choices That Brought You The Things You Like
When we reflect on where we are and where we want to be, often we only think about the aspects of our lives that we don’t like. But it can be just as instructive to think about the parts of our lives that we do like.
When we think about the things that we like, it is good to think about these things in terms of the choices that we made to get there. Amber talks at length in this podcast about the series of choices that she made that lead her into coaching.
After you reflect on the choices that brought you the things you like, think about how you can keep making similar choices in the future.
Celebrate And Analyze Your Choices
“By thinking critically about the good choices that you have made throughout your life, you can positively reinforce good choice habits.”
Think About The Choices That Brought You The Things You Don’t Like
On the other hand, it is good to think about the choices that brought you the aspects of your life that you don’t like. Think about why you made these choices. Many people find, when they analyze their least favorite parts of their life, that they came there by making choices that were not based on their genuine desires.
There are a lot of ways that we can make choices that are not genuine, including choosing what is expected of us rather than what we want, choosing the most popular thing, and letting someone else choose for us.
“Remember, this exercise is not about beating yourself up about the poorly thought out choices that you have made in the past. Instead, it is about finding ways to make more positive choices in the future.”
Use Your “Yes” Wisely
You don’t have to say yes to everything. This is one of the most difficult lessons for many people to learn, but it’s absolutely essential. Learning to say no is as empowering as it is useful. Saying “no” becomes easier when we realize that we are always saying “no” whether we realize it or not.
Whenever you say “yes” to something, you are saying “no” to a series of other things. When you realize that, you realize that you’re not so bad at saying “no” after all.
The Power Of No
“Saying no is much more difficult for me than saying yes, but you have to remember that designing the life you want isn’t about saying yes to everything. It’s about saying yes to the right things.
Choices From Point A to Point B
If you can harness your choices, replicate the good choices you have made and recognize the bad choices, you will reach your destination sooner. As you make your choices, remember the eventual destination that you are striving for. If you can do this, you will find that your nights are not filled with wondering about how you ended up here.
Ready To Design Your Life For Success?
If you are interested in connecting with Amber, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Connect with other incredible people looking to break out of the corporate mindset by joining the Success Center Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/morethancorporate/
Schedule a connection call with Amber: https://successdevelopmentsolutions.com/connectioncall/